10.20.09

6 and 7

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So, I did my 5th step on Saturday. Took about an hour and a half. It was, like my drinking life, the same thing over and over. Now I have that off my mind but replaced with the new thoughts about steps 6 and 7.
I have a list of Fears that drive all the “defects of character” -which I think a Horrible Name that I place with “things I need to work on” – the Things I Need to Work on, in a nascent form that needs to be teased out of the paragraphs of regret, and some People I owe Acts, Words and or Money to.
Steps 6 and 7 are about becoming willing to let go of what Buddhists may refer to as “unskillful” behavior, basically thought-life, interpersonal, and ethical style habits which are so well grooved they stand between me now and a lifetime of sobriety if unaddressed.
Good thing God is supposed to fix it all, once I become willing. I think God might even help with the becoming willing part, ofr while it may seem one would be ready to be all changed and shit, it is pretty unnerving. Changed to what? A selfless, grateful person? How? Where to start? Here.

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Written by xty

July 27, 2009 at 13:38

Posted in the steps

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